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Letter to a friend I've hit bottom

Hello ....

Well then do not really know where to start if the trouble is more than good. But no more.

few weeks ago I have problems balance, I hardly move or bone in my house all day I spend in bed, I have trouble eating or swallowing call, and makes me even more talk.

I have problems with God even though I know not and I stand firm in my beliefs and now more than ever, I feel they forgot about me, I know he has his plan and that but I can not understand, has a very coded language . I know that in his great wisdom that passes for something or for something more well, but I can not understand.

not feel like I mourn when I can not eat or write with a pen, when I have and I can hardly walk. But not my body like that refuses to mourn and finish line but I was laughing so good little by little I lived with my evil that do not become a nightmare. Angela Carrasco would say "no one is fighting the battle"

On the other hand I am a teacher turning things to me so defeated I commend my family and that is something I have and unfortunately few have, have the touch Perfect humor and strength that makes me get up every day without talking about the love they give me daily. Well that health may fail me but I have everything I love all my family and my friends ... do not complete the trio ... the necessary money ... We do not stray

, I tell you I'm fine and recovering but unfortunately not. Now I've been reassured, and increasingly more confirmed that from the beginning I repeat: nothing to do with my actions, my cells. This is a discussion that I have daily with God, I did something wrong? And in the Catholic or Western culture, not all are faults and things we have to pay. We grow up believing that, and when things happen like this we crashed.

is a complicated philosophical discussion which truth do not pay much attention now. Before, if I kill wondering why, why, and just understand that my cells gave teenage rebellion which I did not give me. What worries me now is that these cells are as persistent as me, not to mention stubborn and intense.

Well I'm stretching, but I feel not talked to you in a while, as they did me wrong my time isolate.

What I say to you is greater than the love that show me every day, my brothers, my uncles, my cousins \u200b\u200band friends. Maybe that keeps me going and really do not know why I'm still alive, but something will. My mission is not over think.

I tell you I'm living on the beach, my problems are what I eat fish every day, I itchy sand. But it is not, this is my reality and I accept it and do not like.
I just hope this happens to be my last test and difficult life, I never want to deal with these problems as me is in existence, though we're friends with sadness, is my only friend that I do not want a permanent relationship.

Also, I must tell you I learned to live without illusion, and although it sounds terrible I think it was my best decisions lately, do what I do without expecting anything in return. Do not believe I'm going to heal or I'll die just do what I have, of course as Harrisin Gerge says "while there is life there is hope I have not become a heartless character in the background I hope everything is resolved, but do not do much fuss about it as before.

Well that's kind of what I feel now, I regret not having written before but was committed Error feeling sorry for myself and no.

From you I learned little in the last days, how is everything? How are your dreams? Your goals? The truth is that I had a period where I forget everything and everyone to you, sorry, really I'm sorry.

Every day you wake up and look in the mirror and do not say anything, I see you teñiste hair, are a little fatter. How goes it's palsy?

Sometimes I see the picture you take with you and your brothers for over a year, makes me want to mourn, do not deny it, since that time no see.

I really love you and am with you, just that there are times when I can not help noticing just me. Porfa

answer me quickly, remember that I love you Diego. Medeles

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And I do not want to awaken compassion and pity for those who read me. It's offensive that I believe that but just in case. Nor is it a way of challenging God does not want to take it well and let me see that in fact, as soon as I did not believe, I can be worse.

is only what I see now that I've hit bottom and could not be worse. And while no pain and agony deep, and I thank you, I have taken everything that was beautiful, and I can not sing, nor can almost talk, not to take pictures as before, have no balance, not to run, I was in my dreams of paradise, not to laugh, and others.

This is not a claim I'm just waiting for my rebirth, I can not overlook the wonderful things that even I have my family first of all that is the most beautiful and important and this new ability to pair write. I can reason and decide, perhaps different decisions, but important to me, including among other things.

I can keep dreaming and I can continue to receive the affection of those who love me.

These meditations arise from a reality that I realize, when you hit bottom there is no choice to return to the surface. It's like the time when he lost his balance, initially I went to a pool and it seemed comical bed. With bad luck, neither I expected it, that I lost the north, south, up and down. As a result, I sank to the bottom. Without stopping to kick to come to the surface. Being in the background I think I should not fight alone. let's kick opened my eyes and see the stripes from the bottom of the pool and was able to locate the bottom, then turn right and saw the wall and remove the hand and felt the edge, then I grab the edge and left. Obviously

out there was a whole fuss. But I got out. Tremendous fright he had given. But it was not nothing but swallow plenty of water.

think I'm just now touching the bottom, and I should stop kicking, I already did what I was in my hands physically and emotionally speaking, it's time to think and find the surface.

As I said earlier, I think deep down inside I can not get, and I am interested to find out. Only I think it's time to think and be just me, I've accomplished so much that it would be foolish to stay halfway

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is something that maybe if we deny it difficult and sometimes not cuz we do not want to be guilty of our happiness or sadness. But a decision is crucial not only in moments of despair but in our daily lives. Reach


this conclusion after talking with my friend Daniel about some decisions he had taken. And it's not a matter of letting us live life as he pleases. It's about to step forward and say, it bothers me I do not like or want to change X thing. Making determinations and accept its consequences. Good or bad thing we teach.

A school teacher said "gross but determined" and it sounds funny as it should be one, perhaps our decisions are not the most successful may not take the best option, who knows? But we accept the consequences and not left with the question of what would become of me if ...?

's not that I always take the right decisions, but I assumed the impact of the paths I've taken, and I think I have learned that the most valuable is that I learned to be at peace with those decisions, although some very bad, I have made experience.

When we are small we decided not to stick their fingers into the fan, either past experience or because they tell us.

But we took that option and then realize that this time was the best, which is one of those questions than we would have liked not come out.

same thing happens maybe only now are far more complex, involving not only our integrity but that of those around us. Since

amazingly emerged unscathed from adolescence, thanks. And I'm not saying old. I realize many decisions I and I agree with them. Now more than ever I agree with them because they have established a consistency between who I am and what I am. I soon learned and I have taken by force many consequences which have brought to me.

As my psychologist, or more like he once discussed with her, so at this point feel that I have not decided for me as it did before. I think I made the most important decision of all and at this point, but it bothers me for all that is involved, it gives me peace and have taken the treatment. Have accepted it and follow it.

suddenly feel like you have put your fingers in the fan, I hope qu worth this time. Yesterday

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Decision Making Magic and

vi Aladin and convinced me that magic exists, maybe not the way I want, or what happens each night sleep with me. Perhaps the miracle that I dreamed not how I want it. But there is magic, not how but I was very excited watching Aladin, just like when I was 8.

And if anything I learned in all this is that things are all around us we just have to see well.

See the Magic Carpet, Aladdin and Princess again I returned to my childhood, those times when nothing was important and that we could laugh at the volume we wanted, that magic was everywhere and that the VHS were the last. What if foreign

or the time? If you now if I miss, before a child was innocent of many things now, but I laugh about things like children and more chocolate and can not see Disney movies I am very different. I can not explain to what level. I can say is that magic again be in my universe and even doubted her, I learned to see with different eyes.

The idea of \u200b\u200bthree wishes made me think what would I want? Now. When I was little I wanted to have power and money, fly and be famous. Now maybe those dreams have not changed much, have matured and have other nuances. Must be that magic brings me back to childhood.

What is that really impressed me yesterday Aladin and to feel that magic was present.